Narcissism and Romantic Partner Selection

This video answers the question: Do individuals with narcissism tend to look for certain characteristics in romantic partners? When we talk about this construct of narcissism sometimes we think of the disorder: “narcissistic personality disorder.” Narcissism runs on a continuum and has several different characteristics associated with it. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder and is conceptualized as having extreme personality traits related to narcissism. Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder are really two different constructs although, of course, there's a lot of overlap there. We know that narcissism, whether it's subclinical narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder, tends to interfere with romantic relationships and it's fairly easy to see why there would be some level of interference. If we look at the symptom criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, for example, we see characteristics like exploiting people interpersonally, a sense of entitlement, envy, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and arrogance. All of which, of course, could interfere with relationships. If we look at associated characteristics of narcissism in general, we see characteristics like being vindictive or having a lot of antagonism. Again, it is fairly clear to see how this would make romantic relationships challenging. Also, narcissism is associated with a low commitment level in relationships, although a lot of the research on this has been looking at individuals who are dating as opposed to married. We see that this low commitment may be explained by this overvaluing of certain elements of relationship like physical enjoyment and undervaluing other aspects like emotional connectedness. There are essentially two theories are romantic partner selection and narcissism: there's the similar theory and the dissimilar theory. With the similar theory, individuals with narcissistic traits tend to look for other individuals who are confident, ambitious, and they're not particularly concerned with how considerate somebody would be. If we line this with a five-factor model of personality theory an individual has narcissistic traits would look for high extraversion and low agreeableness. With the dissimilar model, the theory is that individuals who have narcissistic traits would be looking for someone who's easy to manipulate. Putting that in terms of the five-factor model: high neuroticism and low extraversion. What's interesting here as we look at this similar versus dissimilar theory, is that there is no clear evidence to support either theory. Individuals who have narcissistic traits don't seem to look for any particular type of romantic partner as far as personality theory.

Lavner, J. A., Lamkin, J., Miller, J. D., Campbell, W. K., & Karney, B. R. (2016). Narcissism and newlywed marriage: Partner characteristics and marital trajectories. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 7(2), 169-179. doi:10.1037/per0000137